2. 1. Well, one of the days we were up there my buddy, Oliver, and I decided to take the kayaks out on the lake. One day, when he was six, I was at his house when he got this absolutely god-awful stomach pain. Have you experienced tender, swollen bumps, either on or under your skin, that may produce foul-smelling liquid and scarring? 50 Funny Sex Stories That'll Make You LOL #12...whoa! To this day I can probably cite that as one of my top clumsy/socially inept moments. Last Updated on December 21, 2019. Duh?? When we got back from kayaking I took my phone out only to find the bag was submerged in water. Here’s the back story: My parents usually pack me fruit for a snack, but on this day they packed me like half of the leftover Pringles from the day before, you know, in that cylinder container. Luckily I didn’t hurt or crush him. But now at this point I was out of books, and the rest of my class knew it. Literally, the whole school had filled with smoke while we’d kept super safe under our wooden desks. 48. Read online funny short stories or publish your own. 45. Do follow the link to enjoy the short stories. 99. Oh—semen: When I was in high school, I was pretty quiet around people who weren’t my friends. Saved by TheFunnyBeaver.Com. But the teacher didn’t know I was out. Now people call him lotion boy. So eventually my friend explained to me (it literally took 2 hours of convincing) and then ofc I was pretty embarrassed but the thing is the fucking teacher then asked me if she could tell this to the other teachers and that’s the story of how I switched schools. 20. Here are some of our favorite short stories for middle schoolers to share with your students. Ed policy. 19. on our other post. Funny stories to tell friends. SETH. 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Literally had to take a sobriety test when I tried to get my license. more funny short stories here. I opened the door to my microwave and…low and behold…I had neglected to add water. Tell me, what year did you graduate?”The other bloke answers,“Well now, let’s see, I graduated in 1964.”The first one exclaims,“The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us!I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same place tonight.Can you believe it?I graduated from St. Mary’s in 1964 my own self!”About this time, Vicky walks up to the bar, sits down and orders a drink.Brian, the barman, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head and mutters,“It’s going to be a long night tonight.”Vicky asks,“Why do you say that, Brian?”“The Murphy twins are drunk again.”. Basically we have this project to pick a health goal to do for a month. We were in my garage spray painting the tubes and these two guys come marching up to the house across the street and start yelling at the top of their lungs, beating on the door. Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page. Also, the best short stories are every bit as engaging and meaningful as the best novels. I decide to turn on the oven light to see if maybe my mom had stuck some cookies in the oven and forgot to bake them, but instead, I find that the tray my chicken nuggets were on has cookies on it instead! When we get there, there is a state trooper waiting for me. The bell rings and being that kid that wants to get out I don’t bother putting all my stuff away and I just grab my RED backpack and I’m gone. 1. 55. Funny Plane Story to Break the Ice with a Stranger as text. Short Stories to enjoy when you have 5 minutes to spare, sorted by category so you can find what suits your mood. Short stories are always a great choice. 36. I miss that game everyday…. Oh—semen. It was just PRINGLES.” Being a little angel. I mean, he was literally writhing in pain. To this day I’m sure she fears my cold dead hands, ready to rip her lying face off. Middle school is a funny place. So still, to this day, I get my hands confused. As it turns out, I am gay. We ended up continuing with that scenario and took notes on the scientific method using the very problem that I had created. Paperback $9.99 $ 9. My dad chooses the best time to come in with guests, when one of his 10 year old sons is standing in the living room wearing his only daughters frilly Victoria’s Secrets, his oldest isn’t wearing pants, and the other two sons are on the floor dying. Naturally, I freak out a little, & I whip out my phone. I had a change of heart. Funny Story About Diets ~The Dog Food Diet. 50 shades of butt: So to begin my story I should tell you that I work at a Medical Spa as front desk and my job entails mostly computer and customer service related tasks. My classroom was literally just around the corner from the bathroom, next to the lockers. These stories are generally considered funny, or they’re stories that I’ve found somewhat funny. Dumb Fred zoo day joke 07/07; This woman has done ironman triathlons, and talks about going to the YMCA at 5:00am. I, scared shitless, am peeking around the corner watching it all go down. Some of these true stories are ture, while others are made-up stories. I will probably never be able to live down the moment I looked at the multicolored butt right in the crack. The worst possible time. Popcorn: My sister, mother, and I were waiting in a long line at the Sam’s Club food court. She asked me where I was going so I started running as fast as I could screaming The teacher looked at what they were laughing at and saw me with yet another book. But the wrestlers grab the uniforms and rush out of the room to go change in the bathroom, and come back to show them off. I opened to a random spot and just pretended like I was reading. The taxi driver will have a fun story to tell his family after his shift! I thought it would be a brilliant idea to put my phone in a plastic bag to protect it from the water. I did this every quarter that year. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. My Gig As A Pizza Delivery Guy Was Strange Enough, But This Order To 6834 Miller Ave. Will Haunt Me Forever, 23 Men And Women Share Their Most Inspirational Love Story (That Really Happened), 25+ Inspirational Stories That Will Make You Smile, 20+ Terrifying And True Ouija Board Stories. Genius me, decided she wanted to listen to the 4 Selena Gomez songs I had on my phone. Funny Story About Blondes ~ Best Blonde Guy Story Ever. You indicated that someone in your family has been diagnosed with HS. One hour later the man ordered three beers again. 2.1k. 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